Thursday, November 10, 2011

Mr. Nice Guy

By Rob Watson

I may have mentioned in earlier posts that, in my youth, I was fairly unsuccessful in the pursuit of  young women. The one I caught then had to be tossed back later. From these experiences, I have gained useful knowledge that should be passed on.

During my earliest years, my parents took the family to the movies every Saturday night. If you watch movies made before 1960 or so, you will see the hero played by a handsome, well mannered, "NICE", Gary Cooper type guy. ( with the possible exception of Clark Gable) They always removed their hats in the presence of the feminine gender. They always addressed them as 'Madam' or 'Ma'am'. they were always polite, courteous, and diffident. From these, I took away the conviction that I should be a "NICE" guy. I learned from their behaviors in the movies, and later, after entering my unsuccessful years, from a four inch thick book on manners. I became, and for the most part, remain a "NICE" guy.

This Mr. Nice Guy persona first paid off at my high school class's 40th reunion. I was sought out by a woman, who in her youth, and still 50 years later, is, very nearly, the prettiest girl in our class. "Robert", she began, "I have always considered you to be one of the nicest guys I know."  She went on to contrast my niceness, politeness, courteousness, and diffidence with the rude behaviors of my male peers of the former time. If she ever reads this, she may be surprised to know that, that was the first time in those 40 preceding years I took "NICE" as a compliment.

I have been called "NICE" even "REALLY NICE" many times in my unsuccessful years. (I never considered it a compliment) This, because after 1960, self confident, Clark Gable type assholes became the most desirable type for young women to fawn over. "Robert, you are a (NICE, REALLY NICE) guy but... " translated into "Buuzzz off, turkey!"

You frequently hear lonely women complain "All the good ones are taken." I would hear this and take it literally. You could almost see me as Hermione in the Harry Potters movies, with my hand raised high waving vigorously... "Here I am. notice me!!". It took me a considerable time to learn "All the good ones are taken." really means "All the self confident Clarke Gable type assholes are taken and only "NICE" guys are left"

Some of these women eventually learn that, from time to time, a "NICE" guy can be transformed into a genuine "good one" with the generous application of unselfish love. Fortunately, the same can be said for the self confident, Clark Gable type assholes... sometimes.

This post is never to be construed as a treatise on understanding women. For a man to try to understand women is, simply, a fools errand.

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