Laugh 'Til It Hurts

By Rob Watson

It is possible that you had to be there for these to be funny, but our kittens have on two occasions paralyzed Wife and I in sidesplitting laughter with their antics.

Our kittens are about 5 months old on this first event. Unlike most cats we have had, they seem not to mind traveling, as long as the air conditioner is on. If the air is not on they complain until it is. They know what the small crate is for... to move them from one place to another. Usually, we open the crate and two of them will quickly wander in. The third will not be far behind. They do not distinguish between transfer from house to car, or car to vet, or any other transfer. They get in and go... until...

A few months ago we drove 14 hours from our new home to the old one. We needed to pack up the last of our stuff and haul it to the new place. This was the first time the kittens had ridden in the covered bed of our large pickup. We put them there because it was vastly more room than the cage they usually travel in. They have food, water and a sandbox in either.

On arrival at the old place, we needed to get the kittens into the small cage to transfer them to the old house. When we opened the cage one walked in. I grabbed the second and shoved him into the cage. when we tried to put the third in, one of the others crawled out. Then both tried to get out. We would grab one of the escapees and stuff him back in only to have another one to squeeze out. In. out. In. Out. In. Out. Never more than two in the cage at any one time, until we both began to laugh and lost control. Several minutes later, after we regained self control, we got all three in the cage.

These days, the kittens are 8 month old. The boys are 10 pounds each and the girl is about 8. During their exercise periods  they dash around the living room, alone, or one in pursuit of another. There is no obstacle that cannot be traversed. A leap of four or five feet is common. Floor to recliner to pet tower to another recliner... zoom, zoom. zoom.

We keep our TV tables, each by our respective recliners, each with a place mat for when we eat in front of the TV. One of the boys came dashing across the room, leaped from floor to the arm of my recliner, and followed immediately with a leap of five feet or so, laterally across me and onto the place mat of my TV table. The table top, being polished, offered no resistance to the lateral momentum of the 10 pound cat.

Cat and mat continued to fly together, as if on a magic carpet ride, for another five feet or so until the two landed on the carpeted floor.  Our uncontrolled laughter continued for several minutes. The cat, apparently, embarrassed by the outcome, cut short his exercise and curled up in another chair, eying the two us with a hurt look on his face.

Well, I guess you had to be there.