Uncomfortable With War, A Letter to a Friend

By Rob Watson

Dear Friend,
Your comments about war caused me to evaluate my own feelings on the subject. As it happens, I recall sitting in Physics lab at College doing exactly that… quit school, join the army… (For some reason, at the time, I did not consider the Navy or Air Force as I did when the real decision was made.)

I had been in the Boy Scouts and gone camping in primitive conditions many times. I do/did not like cold, hot, bugs, hard ground, cooking out, and being dirty with no way to wash. I am somewhat uncomfortable with the unknown, but I can deal with it. I am very concerned about being shot at and facing bombs and shells. And, I knew I would become an officer, would be a strict disciplinarian and would die at the hands of one of my men, who did not like me messing with his drugs… so, I gave up the idea and went back to working on my assigned experiment.

When faced with reality later in the military, when they were lining me up to go to Southeast Asia, I actively sought out the opportunity to avoid that. With the help of God, I am sure, an unlikely series of events sent me to Little Rock, Ark. instead. While I am uncomfortable with avoiding that danger, I am exceedingly happy to have done so. (Over the years, I have met a few men who, like me, were able to avoid the danger of their time. Some are simply, again like me, uncomfortable with their action. One WWII vet who stayed in the US in the USO was positively ashamed of himself… enough that he would not stand and be recognized at a Memorial Day event, where all veterans were asked to stand and be recognized.)

I assume you have seen the painting of Pickitt’s Charge at Gettysburg. From time to time, I try to transport myself back to that time and place myself in one of those long, majestic, lines of infantry… the only emotion that comes to mind is the all consuming fear that I experienced when asking for a date the first time. (recounted in my blog “Fear”)

So, it is easy to see the difference between reality and experiencing power, glory, courage, etc. vicariously through films and reenacting.

My friend, Charles, was in training to go to WWII when it ended. He was trained to be a 40mm antiaircraft gunner on one of the big warships. He fully expected to be killed at his post by a Kamikazi attack. If I started to tell a “war story” he would stop me, saying he thought war was a senseless pursuit. (Charles thinks the atomic bomb saved his life and says so whenever it is brought up in the news) So, you should see that I am experienced with good and favored people who are uncomfortable with things associated with war… and these good and favored people retain my utmost respect for their views.

Looking foreword to seeing you Monday evening… Wife wishes me to remind you we have accepted your invitation to stay over for the 21st and leave on the 22nd.

Your friend,
Rob Watson